HELP ME!!!

[Stewart]

In article <238 at obie.UUCP>, wes at obie.UUCP (Barnacle Wes) writes:
> Poor College Student needs Your Help!!   :-(
> 
> Hi.  I just finished my junior year in college, and now I'm
...
> I've come along way, and there is no chance in hell that I'm going
> to drop out now!  I'm not a quiter, and I'm not going to give up.
> 
Okay.  By now, you've probably gotten spit upon by every soul in
netland that worked through school and has an axe to grind, Bunky.
Well, there's an alternative.  Why do you want to go through school?
To get a job, right?  To either make a lot of money or help humanity.
I'll assume that if you wanted to make a lot of money, you'd have
been asking for loans from folks over the net and offering a fair
interest rate.  But you didn't, so I'll assume you want to help
humanity (or are so incredibly stupid that you didn't even think of
the personal loan route).  And, we'll assume, that you didn't ever
hear of the disk jockey in Texas or the guy in the New York Times
or the dozens of others who tried the "Send your dollars now" scam
and got $K's.  Okay, here's how you do it.  You go down to, oh, any
major pedestrian traffic intersection and BEG.  I've lived in some
major cities, and have seen it work famously.  If a job isn't your
cup of tea, just be honest with people on the street.  Tell them
you have no disabilities, no disadvantages, have been going to college
for several years and have no intention of performing any extreme
physical or mental labor ever (I'm assuming this is your story, now).
Maybe someone with the same background will stroll by ("look, Mumsy,
a poor chap with clean fingernails is -- 'sweating'!!  I'll give him
some money!  Would you like my Bentley for the weekend, Fellow?")
There is a downside to this, though, assuming you don't get your head
batted around by someone who'd read the net around now when you
graduate.  You might get hired by someone.

			G. Mark (sensitive) Stewart